My life before my eyes.

i had poss one of the most fun days in a long time yesterday. 

basically we hit $68 worth of golf balls into lake, grilled out, boat rides, day drinking, and drinking fireball straight out the bottle. with chris and his fam. 

passing the bottle of fireball back and forth with chris’ mom was poss the best part. i love chris’ family. hell yea

im alive, this is the latest i have stayed up in so long. i usually am passed out with my lights on by 10. my roommates constantly turn off my lights if my doors opened. ahhh i need a break from work. i do not want anymore overtime. 

this guy mark i no died two nights ago. we found out yesterday morning. not mark salas. just incase people are jumping ahead. but i feel so depressed, down, and sad. maybe odd because i didn’t no him so well. he is friends with my friend steph who worked with me at my old job. i only no him because he lives right beside her. i go over there every day. he usually just bursts inside with a “heyyyyyyyy” or something. regardlesss i see him almost every time i go over there which for the most part is everyday. i am trying hard to be strong for steph. when she called me i was about to go running, she was a mess and i could hardly understand her, so i just went right over there, i stayed for a long time. i didn’t cry. now all of the sudden tonight i feel really sad about it. stephs been cleaning up his apartment, we’ve been walking his dog, and now we have noticed his dog acting weird. its been a while since marks been home so now she doesn’t even get up unless u call her, which is very unlike her. and stephs dog and her dog wine when they are together and stephs dog titus loves on marks dog penny, almost like they know. 

i don’t really no what to do. i no that she is way more hurt then i, i’m trying so hard to be there for steph, but now i’m down. 

holy cow my body is sore. today was an intense workout. i’ve been going to the gym with my friend i work with. i haven’t been to the gym since like june. i usually just run outside. its so exciting in a real gym. so many options. haha. i’ve been getting to use weights for my legs/butt and i’m really excited about it. also i need a new clothes. non of mine fit. all to big. its kinda wack, i have little money at the moment since as of jan 13th i’ll be unemployed. i hope i find a good new job with the two days off work i have be4 then OR get some gooooood unemployment. WAY TO STRESS ME OUT ALREADY in this new year.

Todays the big day. I lost that last pound that was draggin. aka I somehow managed to lose a TOTAL 40 POUNDS! even wit all them xmas cookies and candy! SMELL YEAAA!

Shittest day of my life. Just lost my job. NOT FIRED, but today our manager told me our salon was going out of buisness and that all of our last days will be JANUARY 13th. 

WTF am I going to do!? I’m freaking out! I still am working until then but I don’t even have time to look for another one because my next to days off are xmas eve and xmas day and i’ll be n fay, then my next day off after that is JAN 1st. looks like I’ll be spending my new years day trying to find a new job. 

I’m really upset about this. 

one more pound and i’ll reach the big 40 pounds lost! I can do it I can do it I can do it!

why are the last couple pounds so hard to lose.

also ready for this year to be over with.

i am so excited to get off work tom. am i 12 and its xmas? because uhhh i am so excited i can’t sleep ha